THE SALESMAN

 

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

Roll-up Roll-up one and all!

The Salesman is in town and does he have a deal for you!

Buy from The Salesman today and claim your prize.
 
Make friends and influence people.

Every ones a winner.
 
You can't lose!

Genuine product.
 
Exclusive to The Salesman.
 
Limited availability.

Don't suffer from loneliness anymore!
 
Be the envy of friends and family.

Why suffer from sadness, shortness of breath, impotence, incontinence and baldness anymore?
 
Do you lack confidence?
 
Relationship problems?
 
Is flatulence effecting your love life?
 
Need more stamina?
 
Disillusioned?
 
Delusional?
 
Paranoid?
 
Incontinent?
 
Low self esteem?

Unsure how to act in public?

 Poor IQ?
 
Insomnia?

Failing memory?

Aching joints?

Flaking scalp?
 
Bad Breath?

Back problems?
 
Poor posture?
 
Over active conscience?

Under active conscience?
 
Anxiety Disorders?

Mental inflexibility?
 
Resting Bitch Face Disease?
 
On the spectrum?
 
Foot in Mouth Disease?

Indecisive?
 
Bouts of unexplained anger?
 
Don't know how to act in public?
 
Trouble sleeping at night?

Suffering from poor judgment?
 
Can't hold your tongue?
 
Delusions of Grandeur?

Are you lacking insight and initiative?

Hallucinations?

Living in the past?
 
Short attention span?
 
Fluctuations in alertness and wakefulness?
 
Why suffer from madness any longer?
 
Do you suffer from a lack of facial expressions?

Industrial deafness?

Tone deaf?
 
Do you lack rhythm?

Recapture your youth!
 
Satisfy your every delusion!
 
Be who you want to be.
 
Time to live out your dreams.
 
Act now!
 
Take control.
 
Don't waste any more time.
 
Make the smart choice.

Not sold in stores.

Avoid cheap imitations.

Tickets are limited.

One show only!

You deserve the best!
 
The elixir of life!

Trust Me!

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